Jan 9, 2013

PMS Zit Neck



I'm not happy talking to you guys about this,

but,

sometimes (all the time) when I have THE PMS, I'm fairly hideous.

In fact, as the last week counts down to well, you know, things just get worse and worse--like I morph into some horrendous caricature of my usual self.


Chalk that up to great hormonal upset, lack of sleep and total apathy for my appearance.



Take last month for instance...







I got a giant zit.  Right on the SIDE OF MY NECK.
On my neck, for crying out loud.

I mean--what is more hideous than that?!?  What am I--a MONSTER?  A FREAKING TEENAGER?


Hideous.





A zit on my neck, and really, really bad hair because I was too exhausted to put conditioner on it, or even style it.  At all.


So, it was bad, mop hair with a halo of FUZZ around it.


And a wicked double chin thanks to water retention.






A zit on my neck, bad fuzzy mop frizz hair, wicked double chin, bags under my eyes from crappy sleep, a big bloated jelly belly and super sore hoots (with little unhappy faces on them).


SOMETHING HAD TO GIVE.

Fix that damn hair and get rid of THAT THING!!!






Yeah.  That NEVER works.


THAT only made it get at least twice as big as it was before.


Give up.







And let me tell you:  a bandaid isn't fooling ANYONE.





Whoo! That was boring.

13 comments:

  1. the bandaid would have fooled me. you could always just mumble something about a biopsy if you see someone looking at it. or wear turtlenecks til it subsides.
    or, for even more fun, you could turn ella loose with an eyeliner pen and let her draw a face on it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even have any turtlenecks anymore I don't think! I had a bunch when I was an office girl. Alas! That would be a good solution.

      Oh well, that was last month. No bizarro zits this month, thankfully.

      Delete
  2. I get those as well..what the heck?? They are painful and gross to look at! Almost every month...i get a neck zit. ugh.
    Hey, Do you know about the sock bun? This may help you with those days you just dont feel like doing your hair. go on youtube and type in sock bun...its super easy...takes about one minute..and boom! great looking hair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm going to have to look that up, Steph. My sis was just talking about it this morning too. I still don't think it would help the monstrous face-framing cowlicks I get though when my hair sucks.

      Delete
    2. It will just add the awesome look! ;)

      Delete
  3. You have the most FABULOUS boring life. I find there's nothing like pantyhose worn over the head with little holes cut out for eyes to escape the world. And surprisingly, everyone stays away from me when I wear them this way. Especially at the market...Hm. They are my go-to piece. And when removed my hair is very flat and controlled. You can even put a bun in the pantyhose by tying a knot in the excess hanging from the top of your head. Hope you feel better SOON.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. genius solution, Melanie! I think I'll try it out when I go pick up the kids from school! Hooray!

      Oh, I feel okay this month, thanks. I was only slightly hideous last week, like maybe 65% hideous, with no untoward blemishes.

      Delete
  4. PMS is the gift that keeps on giving. Giving you spots, mental hormones, crying at adverts. It's evil. Sending you something on facebook...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Clare, it is too true. Did you send me something on facebook and I either foolishly missed it or didn't realise yet?

      Delete
  5. Oh good, someone else gets mad hormonal spots too. Well, I don't mean it's GOOd that you had a zit and felt shit. I mean good that it's not just me!
    Ladies. How we suffer. We need to be adored and pampered and cosseted, just to get through the day. Any offers? xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, dear Curtise. Take comfort knowing that you are not alone. It is my dark secret, that I have revealed...to the world, apparently.
      We do need to be adored and pampered. Must get the minions on that right away.

      Delete
  6. Your hoots are FANTASTIC. Even when they're sad. I didn't even notice the neck zit, they're that good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're so angry at times though Leanne. They've actually SNARLED at The Man when he only THOUGHT about touching them. F*CK OFF @$$HOLE! they shrieked. WE'RE SORE.

      Delete

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