ages ago,
among other times,
I bought my girlie a chocolate bar, and advised her to ration it.
and believe it or not, she actually DID.
That thing sat on the counter for what felt like FOREVER.
Tormenting me.
Singing its sweet, chocolatey,
melt-in-your-mouth
siren song.
And you know EXACTLY what it would taste like,
so you have chocolate-devouring FANTASIES.
But then one day...
when there are only THREE SQUARES LEFT...
you CONVINCE yourself that OBVIOUSLY the kid forgot about them.
And then you DECIDE that you have every right to eat it.
What the hell? Who does all the work around here?
Who makes the dinners and lunches and snacks?
Who makes sure everyone has clean underpants all the time?
And anyways...looks like she forgot about those last three squares.
So you GOBBLE THEM UP!
And then, a day later...
Holy crap. What have you done?!?
You tell the kid YOU ATE HER CHOCOLATE.
She CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!
And even worse:
SHE'S HEARTBROKEN!
But then, she's ANGRY
She gives you a GOOD lecture, in a very stern tone.
And then she never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever lets you forget it, forever after.
Every time a new piece of chocolate comes into the house, she makes sure you remember.
Guess you learned your lesson!
Whoo! That was boring.
Your expressions are PERFECT. I love your drawings. Keep them coming!
ReplyDeletethank you Melanie. I appreciate that.
DeleteNever, ever in parent speak means "Until next time when you torture your mother by leaving your damn candy/ice cream/cupcake laying around!" You are justified, Dirty Thief.
ReplyDeleteThe best part was you calling me Dirty Thief. Totally made my day!!!
DeleteBeen there. Done it. Lied to get out of it. I rock! xxxxxx
ReplyDeleteDamn it, why didn't I lie to get out of it???
DeleteI agree with Melanie... more more more!
ReplyDeleteAnd Curtise... lie lie lie!
Sarah xxx
thank you Sarah! You need a distraction from the all the environmental freaking TRAUMA you're living these days!!!!!
DeleteI was/am a greedy bitch so my mum never got a chance to eat my chocolate, though she has done in recent years. Love all these drawings, they're fantastic. Love your bossy daughter, she'll be reminding you of it FOREVER xxx
ReplyDeleteyeah, she just reminded me of it again YESTERDAY Clare. So, you are correct!!!
DeleteToo funny. Kids do seem to do that, though... leave it there, almost intentionally taunting you. They're smart little people, I tell ya. Not as innocent as they look!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more! And I especially agree about the taunting--it's just cruel.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHA...I would so totally doo that too ....wait I already did. I love your cartoons
ReplyDeleteof course you did! We're STARVING MOTHERS after all.
Deletei've done this too. kids have very long memories about such things. i tried to use the excuse of "you left it there, so i thought you were done with it." but it didn't fly. now the girl knows to keep her food out of my sight where it's safe.
ReplyDeletewhy do we do it? Temptation, I guess. Is it also because we hardly ever buy ourselves any treats???
Deletei think that's it. we don't allow ourselves enough treats.
DeleteDEFINITELY. I emphatically agree with that >:(
DeleteDammit, G leaves chocolate and other delicious items about half eaten.Drives me batty, but I AM getting quite good at ignoring them nowadays....I just hide them from my view!
ReplyDeleteXXX
yes! I usually do that too, Helga. What the hell was I thinking??
Deleteoh that was funny! love the drawings.
ReplyDeletethank you Melissa!
DeleteHubby puts his chocolate in the freezer... It's all a conspiracy, because I don't like it frozen.. otherwise pretty much any chocolate in the fridge is mine.
ReplyDeletewise tactic on his part, because I probably wouldn't touch it there either!
DeleteI have definitely done that.
ReplyDeletewell you deserved it. After all, you wash the underpants.
DeleteOoo you little thief! My sons are still too young to recall exactly what's in their treat cupboard. Clearly I need to hone my skills before they get savvy ...
ReplyDeletejust you wait...they will!!! They won't remember where they put their favourite toy, but they will have a mental inventory of treats!
DeleteOMG. Hilarious. My kids can also tell you who got the bigger brownie last month.
ReplyDeleteyes, see? It's pointless trying to put one over on them.
DeleteLoved this! What a good lesson to learn, Mommy!! lol
ReplyDeleteOh yes Jim--I learned my lesson alright!
Delete