Feb 22, 2013

Glamour Girl Learns

The other day, I had just finished getting washed

when suddenly I heard a little voice behind me

and when I turned around...


Yeah, yeah.  Whatever, over-reacting MOM.

She rolled her eyes and said;

but then a little later...


What else could I do?

I grabbed a washcloth and started scrubbing.  Girlie wasn't too pleased.

And I cheerfully told her she had now truly learned one of life's great emotions:


Feb 18, 2013

Is It A Sign???

Today, in the cold winter sky, there were GEESE.
I looked up and saw the familiar V-formation,
stopped and listened to their honking.
If you live somewhere where the winter is hard
and cold
and endless
you know exactly how seeing these geese
makes you feel.

Feb 14, 2013

Other Moms VS karen

You know,

sometimes I feel pretty certain that I suck as a homemaker.

I roll out of bed each morning at the last possible second.  I don't like housework, or find it remotely rewarding.  I seem to only do a really good job cleaning the house right before someone is coming over, and I really do prefer to spend a LOT of time looking things up on the computer.  Oh--and I'm ALWAYS forgetting important school stuff for the kids.


Sometimes I imagine what other, more efficient moms must be like.

Maybe it's a little bit like this...

and I start my day like this

And I'll bet those other moms are like THIS two hours before company arrives

and this is me in the last FRANTIC two hours before company is coming:

Good moms have a firm grasp on what's going DOWN at their kids' school.

and then there's me...

and let's not speak of THIS

A good mother serves delicious dinners, with each of the four food groups represented.

but damn--sometimes I'm tired, and SICK of cooking!!!

OH well.

Feb 11, 2013

Queen Of Lies 2

Recently, I was reading The Boy a bedtime story...

...and was RUDELY interrupted.

In case you weren't aware, kids kind of suck at the whole bathroom business, and basically nearly an entire roll of toilet paper disappears whenever they have to GO.

So, I said;

"Okay, just be careful that you don't use too much toilet paper."

And the little IMP smiled evilly and said;

"Okay."  I told him, all casual-like,  "Go ahead.  But then you'll plug the toilet, and a RIVER OF POOP will come flowing out and run right into your bedroom."

Who's laughing now?


Feb 7, 2013

A (Shockingly) Nice Little Story

So, at the kids' school, they have school shirts, and coats, and different things you can buy.

They also have water bottles, with the school name printed on them.  But they're not really for sale.  Usually you get one by WINNING THEM.

At the end of each month, there is a school spirit assembly.  Awards are handed out to kids who have embodied the good "character trait of the month," and sometimes there's a draw for some small prizes...

...like a school water bottle.

And recently, girlie came out of school all excited, because they drew her name, and she won a prize.

That's great, right?!?

But, there's only one small catch:  the person who has yearned for a water bottle, dreamed of a water bottle, talked all the time about a water bottle, hoped for a water bottle, wished for a water bottle more than anyone else in the whole world...

...is her brother.

Believe you me--we've had a LOT of talks about FREAKING WATER BOTTLES, and what "draws" are, and how do you win in a draw and oh man...let's just say for the past two school years, we've talked about it A LOT.

But the little guy didn't win.  I knew how much and how long he'd wanted that stupid water bottle.

And it wasn't like he was a tantrum-y jerk about it, or freaked out, or had a melt-down about it or anything, so that you could say something motherly like; "OH BIG DEAL! NOBODY WINS ALL THE TIME. YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR YOUR SISTER."

  No; he was just quietly pitiful after school, as he sat by the computer to draw his pictures.

Just quiet and sad.  Even worse.


That was one of the nicest things ever.

Whoo! That was boring.

Feb 4, 2013

Now Over-playing In My Brain


On Saturday morning, while enjoying a gorgeous cup of coffee,

I saw that the movie "Coal Miner's Daughter" was on; a biographical movie about the life of country music legend Loretta Lynn.

Well, I'd heard the song "Coal Miner's Daughter," and I kinda remember Loretta Lynn from commercials back when I was a kid, but I didn't know much else about her.

It didn't take long before I was hooked, and watched most of the movie.

Sure, I like some OLD country music, but in general, I'm not a big country music fan.

Still, I am a big music nut, and the charming over-the-top honky tonk music in the movie made me want MORE!

That's what happens when I discover some music that I hadn't heard before.  It flips some crazy switch in my brain, and I become OBSESSED.

I mean--don't even get me started about Brian Wilson from The Beach Boys.  I went on a Beach Boys RAMPAGE for weeks recently.

But now I have a NEW LOVE:  LORETTA LYNN!

And I couldn't get enough of her clear-as-a-bell voice, and homespun, almost hilarious subject matter...

and I LURV the way she sang those whip-snap songs with an angelic smile on her face...

And then my brain completely short-circuited.




But sometimes, you just gotta belt it out.

Sorry kids.

(Thank you  Loretta Lynn)

Whoo! That was boring.
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