Sure, we love our kids.
We love them to BITS.
They're cute, and funny, and charming. They are also, from time to time, annoying, rude, bossy, and...oh wait....I should have stopped at charming.
But, from my observances, kids are also something ELSE.
They're gross.
Let's face it.
I know you feel me on this.
They want to show you the crap that comes out of their ears.
They wipe....THINGS..on places where THINGS should never go, instead of just getting a freaking TISSUE!!!
They create disgusting songs and poems to celebrate bums and boobies and dinks and poo poos and pee pees and boogers and stinks and, well, you name it.
They quickly discover they have a deep love and affection for FARTS. It's bad enough that they're constantly sucking you in, getting your attention only to tell you:
"I FARTED!!" with great delight.
But the worst...the absolute WORST...
The one thing I can NOT stand....
The thing that I should never find on:
- the side of the bathtub
- the drawers of a dresser
-the bathroom floor
- the wall beside the toilet paper
and NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRRRRR ON A CLEAN FREAKING TOWEL!!!!!
I WISH I could tell you THAT never happened.
Sigh.
I KNOW you feel me on this.